Early Sobriety Support + Coping Tips

This is for the girlies in days 1-90, when the cravings and triggers hit the hardest. Early sobriety is messy, beautiful, confusing, and a little chaotic. Don't worry love, you're not alone. I welcome you here with open arms, to the safe space I wish I'd had - where you'll get real support from someone who gets it.

So, let's get into what early sobriety really feels like. To name the most common symptoms...

• brain fog/uncoordinated/forgetful (don't worry, your memory will improve soon!)
  

• confusion about “who am I sober?”

• cravings

• loneliness, feeling judged or misunderstood

• little pockets of hope 

• grieving your old life (romanticizing the "good" times. Was any of it really good though?)

• mood swings & crying for no reason

• being proud and terrified at the same time

• needing constant reassurance
  
• anxiety, restlessness

...and more. But trust me, everything you're feeling and experiencing is NORMAL. Being uncomfortable doesn't mean you're unsafe. Each craving only lasts about 5-10 minutes, which may feel like an eternity, but I promise you, if you can find ways to cope with the cravings during those spurts, they will pass. And it will get easier over time. Keep telling yourself that until your brain believes it. Our brains are easily tricked, they'll believe anything we tell them. The shitty thing about addiction though, is that it's actually rewired our brains, messing up all those neurotransmitters (like GABA, seratonin, dopamine, endorphins, etc.), which makes it a hell of a lot harder to reprogram. But the truth is, our bodies are self-healing organisms, and there is remarkable potential of reversing damage in the brain, nervous system, etc. after quitting, especially in early recovery.

About those cravings - let's talk coping skills (ones that actually work). Here are some things that have helped me (and still do); hopefully you can find at least one, if not a whole bunch, that help you too!

♥ Routine

• morning rituals

  • skincare, makeup, hair, getting all done up for no reason bc it feels good to look good - even if it's just for yourself (;
  • coffee and a good book/show
  • take a good look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself "I am beautiful. I am strong. I am courageous. I am successful. I deserve all that I desire", and keep telling yourself that - even if you don't believe it now, you will eventually.
    

• hydration

  • drink plentyyyy of water girl - your body will thank you, especially after being deprived for so long.
  • Try some NA drinks - I like sparkling apple cider, Kombucha, teas, smoothies, mocktails, etc. you can even try making your own!

• simple meals

  • make yourself some cozy meals - don't worry, you don't have to be a chef, you can find some pretty good recipes online - I'll attach a link to a site that I like to use! https://www.allrecipes.com/100-easy-meals-11695227

• make lists
  
  • to-do/task lists can help us sort our brains and stay on track
  • accomplishment lists allow us to feel good about ourselves, and every single win adds a sprinkle of hope
    
  • goals list - short term and long term
  • lists keep us accountable, and add healthy routines/habits into our life. Keep these on your wall, or somewhere you'll see them every day. You got this girl!

• a mini nighttime routine

  • throw on your comfy pajamas, light some candles, read, journal (view my free journal prompts here), meditate, pray, whatever makes you feel good and relaxed.

♥ Nervous System Regulation

• baths

  • make it feel like a soothing spa by adding bubbles, epsom salt soaks, bath bombs, oils, herbs, milk, etc!
  • light some candles and put on a face mask if you wanna feel extra boujee (;

• breathing
  • box breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4-6, hold for 4, repeat.
  • big deep breaths in & out. Fill your lungs as much as you can, then exhale until they feel empty. Do this until you feel yourself relax.
  • If you want to try meditating, there are a plethora of sounds available on music apps (Apple Music, Spotify, etc), and the app store (Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer, etc), or you can always use YouTube.
  • Try tapping while breathing. Tap your collarbone/chest/forehead gently with two fingers, in a soothing rhythm.
  • Rocking back and forth slowly is also soothing to me.

• grounding
  • go outside & touch some grass - I'm not tryna be a smart ass - I'm serious! Walking around barefoot or laying in the grass (if the weather allows) and just be. It is such a grounding moment.
  • 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste. It forces your brain out of panic mode.

  • Hold an ice cube or run your hands under cold water. Instant pattern interrupt.

  • Describe your surroundings like a narrator: “I am sitting on a gray couch, the air smells like coffee, I feel tired/happy/nervous, etc”. It gives structure and stops the mental spiral.
  • Hold something comforting: A hoodie, a stuffed animal, jewelry, a stone, anything with meaning.
  • Talk to yourself kindly, like you would a close friend: "you're safe. I love you. You've survived 100% of your worst days, and it's going to get better".

• walking/going outside
  • go for a light walk around the neighborhood, visit your favorite park, lake, or trail. Bring some snacks & cute NA drinks and have yourself a picnic date!
  • bring a book outside, a sketchbook, or journal, and let yourself decompress for a bit, while getting the vitamin D your body needs.

• stretching
  • even just 10 minutes of stretching a day (or whenever you feel like it) can help reduce tension, stress levels, and pain.

• plant something
  • pick out some seeds (flowers, fruit, veggies, etc) and create your own little garden (if you have a yard/outdoor space available)
  • OR grab some indoor plants and start a collection in your house
  • having something to take care of/tend to, brings a sense of accountability - plus it's fun! Let it grow with you through your sobriety and flourish together.

• cozy sensory stuff

  • listen to a song that you know word for word - sing that shit girl
  • fidget toys! I LOVE THEM. Squish, click, pop, slide, stretch - keep those hands busy.
  • make a cute glitter jar and watch it flow
  • watch your favorite comfort show - make sure to get up and move around periodically
  • dab some calming essential oils (like lavender, chamomile, sandalwood, bergamot) onto a cotton ball, keep it in a jar and smell it when stressed
  • eat some candy, mints, lemon, cinnamon gum, etc (the stronger the flavor, the better)

♥ Distraction Tools

• coloring/art

  • head to the store and pick out your favorite coloring books or some cute craft paper - grab some pencils, markers, pens, watercolors, glitter, whatever - and go crazy!

• music
  • Put on your favorite playlist and dance around a little, or just listen and feel the music, let it be a distraction from all the noise.
  • drive around and blast the stereos; who cares who hears it, it's not about them right now.

• cleaning
  • speed clean, organize, scrub the walls, get all that shit that's been piling up - you'll feel a lot better when you're done - it creates a good habit too

• Pinterest/vision boards
  • create your personalized dream life on Pinterest: from homes and cars, to clothing and lifestyle!
  • now make a tangible vision board, or vision journal, of everything that makes you happy, and all the things you desire in your life

• texting a sober friend
  • texting, calling, or hanging out with someone who doesn't drink, supports you in your sobriety, and actually listens, is always a comforting feeling. You don't always have to talk either, sometimes just being with someone can help you feel safe and secure, rather than isolated and alone.

• hobbies
  • puzzles, word searches, crosswords, Sudoku, Kanoodle, etc
  • paint (i like paint-by-numbers), draw, color
  • read a good book, or flip through a magazine
  • board games
  • crafts/collaging
  • play an instrument
  • build something - LEGOs, origami, shit build a dresser queen
  • cook/make some cute mocktails
  • do your makeup, hair, have your beautiful self a lil fashion show!

• play with pets
  
  • play fetch with your dog, bring out the laser for your cat, ride your horse, hold your snake, let the hamster roam around - whatever you got, let them be a nice distraction for you
  • if you don't have pets, take a trip to your local pet store and just enjoy all the different critters (who knows, maybe you'll even adopt one)!

♥ Emotional Support

• journaling
  • view my free journal prompts here!

• therapy
  • finding a good therapist may take time; you may not always feel comfortable with the first, second, third... I had to shop around until I found one that really stuck. A lot of people get turned off from therapy if the first one doesn't work out, but I hope you'll keep trying, because they are not all the same, trust me.

• letting yourself feel
  • I know, the emotions are driving you fucking crazy. But instead of thinking of it like "I can't take this, it's too much" try thinking like this: "I am fortunate to have the ability to feel. I am proud and grateful I no longer have to numb myself to function. I'd rather feel this temporary moment of overwhelming emotion, than the constant sorrow and shame that comes with drinking/substance abuse".

Remember, take everything one day at a time. Just get through today. There's no rush, no time limit, and no pressure (even though it feels pressuring as hell sometimes). This is just the beginning of rewiring your brain, babe. It'll take time to feel like yourself again, but you'll come out even better in the end. Give yourself credit where credit is DUE. Now is the time to celebrate your wins, ALL of them. Even if it's waking up sober - it may sound simple to some, but that's a huge accomplishment! There's no such thing as perfection, only progress; you don't have to live up to anyone's standards but your own. This is YOUR recovery, and you're doing damn good.

With Love,

Ashley ♡

Share in the comments your experience in early recovery, some coping skills that have helped you, or if there's anything listed above that you'd like to try!